


of yellow sunsets and regrets

by nominluvbug



Category: NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Pining, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nominluvbug/pseuds/nominluvbug
Summary: Jeno always pushes Jaemin in small little things... but this time he pushes Jaemin and Jaemin falls.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno & Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	of yellow sunsets and regrets

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: [www.twitter.com/nominluvbug](url)  
> cc: [curiouscat.qa/nominluvbug](url)

**“Jeno, I think I’m in love with you.”** Jaemin confesses to Jeno as they sit in the park. The sunset leaves orange hues of beauty everywhere. Jaemin decided to bring Jeno to the park for a “best friend picnic”.It took Jeno back as he heard these words from Jaemin. Jaemin was his best friend. He never saw Jaemin more than that.

**“I-i…”** Jaemin just smiles at his words. 

**“You don’t have to say your answer right now. I’ll wait. I’ll make you fall in love with me everyday.”** Jaemin says in full confidence. With that Jaemin opens up a basket full of Jeno’s favorite food.

**“Home cooked and made by yours truly.”** Jaemin proudly presents his food. Jeno felt his heart full. 

Jaemin grabs a sandwich and places it in front of Jeno’s lips. Before he could process what Jaemin was doing Jaemin already fed him the sandwich. 

**“You got mayo on your lip.”** Jaemin moves his face closer and closer to Jeno. Jeno can feel his heart beating loud and an unknown feeling creeping into him.  _ This is not safe. _

Before Jaemin could wipe off the mayo of his lips Jeno quickie pushes Jaemin’s hand away.

**“I can manage.”** He says and wipes it off on his own. Jaemin just smiles at him… but Jaemin knows he is hurt inside.

\-----------------

**“So our first prom!”** Jaemin says excitedly. He wishes to dance Jeno just once! Just once. It would be like a dream come true for him. The music plays softly as he and Jeno dance under the dim lights. Jaemin was beyond excited.

**“Jeno, don’t forget! We’re going to dance together okay?”** He says cheerfully. Excitement apparent in his voice. Jeno just stares at Jaemin. 

**“Everyone please go to your assigned table.”** Jeno leaves without any word. Jaemin just shrugs as adrenaline and excitement rushes into him. 

The program went on very fast and Jaemin’s most awaited part was finally approaching. Jaemin hears the emcee announcing the first dance wave of waltz. His eyes look for Jeno in the tables but he sees no trace. Finally, he sees Jeno… under the dim lights dancing with someone else.

_ It’s okay… it’s just the first dance wave anyway. _

Jaemin decides to sit this one out and wait for Jeno on the next dance wave. Jaemin had many offers with a lot of people wanting to dance with him but he politely declined. He just wanted to dance with Jeno. That’s it.

Second dance wave came… and Jeno was with someone else again.

The third came… Jeno was still with someone else

And finally the last dance wave came. 

Jaemin sees Jeno waiting for him in the middle of the crowd. He can see Jeno waving his hands calling him. Jaemin excitedly walks to Jeno. Mentally preparing himself to dance with Jeno.

_ Breathe Jaemin. You can do this. _

He cheers himself. When he reaches where Jeno was. Jaemin excitedly positions himself like he was ready to waltz with Jeno but Jeno pushes him off to someone instead.

**“Renjun, this is my best friend Jaemin. You guys should get along.”** Jeno gives them both a pat on the back and leaves.

Jaemin watches as Jeno dances with someone else. 

_ It’s okay. It’s just a dance anyway. _

Jaemin recollects himself and smiles as the guy Jeno introduced. The guy just awkwardly smiles at him and offers him his hand.

**“It’s okay if you don’t want to. I understand.”** Jaemin takes his hand and places it on his shoulders.

**“It’s okay… it’s just a dance.”** He says and that night Jaemin danced with Renjun all night with a broken heart.

\--------------

**“Jeno, on my birthday my parents want me to do a duet. I want you to do it with me.”** Jaemin says as he tries to cuddle Jeno’s arm.

This time it was a miracle since Jeno didn’t push him away. He just lets Jaemin snuggle his arm.

_ So warm… _

**“Okay.”** Jaemin removes himself from Jeno’s arm and faces him. 

**“What?! Did you just say yes?”** Jaemin tries to check Jeno’s face. He places both hands on Jeno’s cheeks and stares into his eyes.

Jeno can hear it again.

_ Dug...dug..dug… _

So he quickly pushes Jaemin and nods.

The moment came… Jaemin was going to sing a duet with Jeno. Jaemin was already in the middle of the stage waiting for Jeno.

Minutes came but nothing…

The sound director has already played the music signaling for Jaemin to start singing. Jaemin decides to start singing in hopes to hear Jeno’s voice after he sings his part.

He finishes singing his and he crosses his fingers behind his back. Wishing Jeno came through and sang his part. It would be very embarrassing to his parents if he didn’t 

Jaemin finally breathes when he hears a voice singing to the music. It was so beautiful that Jaemin felt like he was in heaven.

But the voice… it’s clearly not Jeno. 

The man starts to move to the center with Jaemin. He watches how Jaemin mouths a thank you even though he didn’t expect him to come. He holds Jaemin’s hand to let him know it’s okay. He can feel how cold Jaemin’s hands were so he places them inside his pocket while he holds it still.

Jaemin just watches him in awe. His voice… his face… it was ethereal.

Jaemin does not realize that the song is over until he hears the loud applause from the audience. They both bow and leave.

Jaemin just watches him in curious eyes. Still not knowing why he was there when Jeno was supposed to be the one there.

**“Jeno sent me. He said that I can sing and amaze your parents anyway”** Jaemin just smiles at Renjun.

**“It’s okay… it’s just a song anyway.”** He says but sadness wash over him just the thought of Jeno. 

Renjun stayed with Jaemin the whole night as they drank and ate what was prepared for Jaemin’s birthday.

\-------------

Jaemin decides to confess to Jeno again. He decided to go simple rather than extravagant so here he was carrying a bouquet of chocolates. Yes chocolates not flowers. Jaemin arranged them by himself. Just for Jeno. Jaemin hopes that Jeno will like it.

He takes a deep breath before he enters the empty classroom. He hides the bouquet behind his back. Jaemin timidly approaches Jeno.

But as he was nearing Jeno. Jeno quickly pushes past right away and shows him his cellphone.

**“Jaemin. What do you think of Renjun? He seems like a nice guy right?”** Jaemin just nods at Jeno’s words. He really didn’t care. He was nervous about confessing again. 

**“Great then. So I gotta go now.”** Jeno quickly grabs his bag 

**“W-wait! Jeno wait!”** Jaemin clearly knows that Jeno heard his words but Jeno closes the door and leaves. Jaemin sat there in silence until he heard the door open again. He looks up in hopes of Jeno but sees it’s… Renjun.

**“Do you like chocolates?”** He asks Renjun and takes the chocolate off the bouquet. Renjun just watches Jaemin take the chocolates off the bouquet as he bites his lips to prevent himself from crying. Jaemin hands the chocolates to Renjun.

Renjun grabs the chocolate and opens one of it.

**“Do you like chocolate?”** Renjun says as he feeds Jaemin the chocolates. With that, Jaemin’s tears just fall.

\-----------

Jaemin stands behind the door where Jeno was with a girl. Jaemin identifies her as the person that Jeno danced with when he passed Jaemin to Renjun. 

Jaemin had never wanted to be invasive (which sometimes he was) with Jeno’s privacy but something pushes him to follow Jeno. So he does. He sneaks and follows the latter. He tries to peak what’s inside the room but is afraid to be seen. So he places his ears behind the door.

**“Jeno…”** Jaemin hears the girl say. Jeno says a sweet “hmm?” It was too sweet but Jaemin could taste the bitter bile on his mouth.

**“I-i think I’m in love with you.”** It was so soft that it almost felt like a whisper but Jaemin heard it clearly. Crystal clear.

Even it was against his will Jaemin wanted to see. Wanted to know how Jeno would react so he opens the door slowly revealing Jeno’s back and the girl.

Hugging…

_ No pushing away…. _

Jaemin takes his cue to leave. He walks away from the scene as tears heavily fall on his cheeks. He wipes them off so that no one would know he was crying… but it wouldn’t stop. His vision was getting blurry from the tears.

**“Here.”** Jaemin looks up to Renjun with a handkerchief.

\------------

Upon hearing the words from the girls mouth Jeno felt shocked.It felt like deja vu. It’s what Jaemin exactly has said. The same exact words.

_ Oh Jaemin… _

Jeno felt his heart flutter just from the thought of Jaemin.

Jeno hugs the girl.  _ I shouldn’t have pushed him away,  _

**“I-i’m sorry… I like someone else.”** Jeno says apologetically as they end the hug. The girl just smiles like she knew.

**“Yeah… Jaemin.”** Jeno watches her in shock..

**“How did you know?”**

**“You’re not very subtle you know? When we were dancing your eyes were into him while he danced with Renjun. Also, remember that duet? You always talked about it everyday. You obviously like him.”** Jeno just sits on a chair in deep thought. How come he didn’t realize it sooner?

**“It seems like you are not aware of your feelings.”** The girl says as he pats Jeno’s back.

**“I-i don’t know… I’ve always felt my heart flutter when I was with him but… I’m scared… so kept pushing him.”** The girl just watches Jeno as he plays with his hand.

**“Well. You should do something about it before it’s too late.”** The girl leaves Jeno words of encouragement to pursue Jaemin like she didn’t confess to Jeno a while ago.

But she knows it was a battle that had an apparent winner. Jeno was madly in love with Jaemin.

\-----------

Jeno decides to talk to Jaemin but the whole week he has never seen Jaemin. Jeno would tell Jaemin that they should go play video games or go biking but Jaemin always said that he was busy with a project or he had to help someone or something.

Jeno sits in class while everyone changed for PE.Jaemin’s class was beside his room so he decides not to attend the said class and patiently waits for Jaemin to pass by.

**“Jeno, you’re not changing?”** The girl that confessed to him asked.

**“No. I’m going to wait for Jaemin.”** He says as his eyes do not leave the door in hopes Jaemin would pass by.

Minutes passed by… his classmates had already left for pe while Jeno stayed saying he had a stomach ache. The bell had already rung signaling that class had started and students passed by the hallway. Jeno stays alert for any signs of Jaemin.

He watches as all students pass by but there are no signs of Jaemin but Jeno does not give up. He watches with alertness.

30 minutes have passed. 

_ Maybe Jaemin is absent? _

Jeno thinks to himself. He grabs his phone to leave Jaemin a message.

_ Maybe… he is sick? Is he sick? I should visit him. _

As Jeno was about to leave and visit Jaemin he sees Jaemin tiptoeing with food on his hands.

**“Did you cut?”** Jeno asks with all seriousness.

**“Shhh Renjun! All I wanted was those cakes but I didn’t know the line was lo--”** Jaemin was about to smack the person on his back when he realized it was not Renjun…

Jaemin went cutting with Renjun… Jeno tries to think as an unusual churn on his stomach forms.

**“Come with me. Let’s talk.”** Jeno says as he holds Jaemin’s arm and drags him into his classroom.

Usually Jaemin would just follow but this time he removes his hand from Jeno.

**“Can’t. I’m not leaving Renjun.”** He says as he leaves Jeno to leave with Renjun. 

Jeno just watches both of them tiptoe and giggle. Making sure they won’t be caught as they sneak at the back door.

Jaemin’s aura felt lighter…

Jeno felt his getting heavier.

\--------

Couple of days of chasing Jaemin who’d always seem missing in action. Jeno would always catch him either eating, studying, or other activities but it was always with Renjun. Jeno felt his feelings were slowly eating him up which is why he is in this situation right now.

In an empty classroom with Jaemin trapped on his hand.

**“Please… talk to me, Jaemin.”** Desperation apparent in his voice. Jaemin’s face drops.

**“I-i don’t want to…”** Jaemin says more like a whisper. So he pushes Jeno with all his might. He quickly tries to leave but Jeno holds his hand.

It was the first time Jaemin had pushed him.  _ Rejection.  _

That was what Jaemin must have felt when Jeno would always push him away.  _ Hurt. _

**“W-why are you doing this?”** He asks Jaemin. Afraid of his answer so Jeno closes his eyes.

**_“Because… you do not have to push me away anymore, Jeno. I’ve already fallen.”_** With that Jaemin leaves Jeno.

**Author's Note:**

> You decide how you'll interpret the last words. It's all up to you.
> 
> Author's Note: I wrote this at 2 am so my mind was not working well but I wanted to write... So sorry if the end disappointed you.
> 
> I might write an alternative ending... a better one.. but not right now.
> 
> twitter: [www.twitter.com/nominluvbug](url)  
> cc: [curiouscat.qa/nominluvbug](url)


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